Pronouns at The New School
Keeping this one short, as per the assignment!
The New School is terrible at pronouns. My pronouns are they/them and I run into an issue with my classmates, people I sort of know, and my professors with getting my pronouns right. When it is someone I don’t know very well or don’t have any kind of relationship who I’ll talk to like twice, I don’t tend to correct them. But where is the line when correcting someone you may not be friends with but see on a weekly basis. I think my biggest issue is in my classes. I get referred to as she/her, so when do I say something? When do I correct them? Because we aren’t friends but it does always make me a little uneasy, especially when I clarified my pronouns at the beginning of the semester or joke about my “gender crisis” enough. This is like very specific and I hope I articulated myself well. It drives me crazy thoooooo. yas.
-Anonymous submission to The Nosy Narwhal
This sounds really frustrating! As a cis man I may not have the best possible advice, but I will try my best to help you navigate this.
I think the main thing you need to do is take up the space that you deserve. Don’t feel bad about correcting someone, 99.9% of the time (especially at this school) they will apologize and immediately switch to using your preferred pronouns. Even if you barely know them and only have a few interactions, you deserve to be respected. Think about it this way, if you were hanging out with someone and you accidentally misgendered them, wouldn’t you rather know so you could correct it in the future?
This article in the Colombia Chronicle talks about how it can be hard to correct someone using the wrong pronouns in a professional environment. Because you can’t just avoid them, the unfortunate truth is that you might have to have that “awkward” conversation. While it may seem daunting to approach your professors after class, if their pronoun use is bothering you then it is worth it to make yourself feel more comfortable.
It is annoying that you are put in this position as ideally you wouldn’t have to justify your existence to those around you. I can definitely relate to this situation; as a stutterer I am constantly having to disclose my speech impediment to people which can be really uncomfortable. Afterwards, though, I feel a lot more comfortable having a conversation with them because I feel like I don’t have to hide it anymore. While being trans/non-binary is obviously a completely different experience, I think this particular situation is comparable in how it forces a conversation you don’t necessarily want to have. However, by having these conversations, it has helped me become a better advocate for my needs and I think it will do the same for you.
Good luck! Don’t be afraid to get yourself out there!
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